So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
