Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Bring me that man meat
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
