Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
