Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
