but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My vagina just clenched in fear
The adults are the big ones right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
