So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
