marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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