When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
