The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
