We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
