i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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