great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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