She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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