dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm at about main and main street
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
