id be glad to
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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