Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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