all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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