Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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