oh god the rape fog is back!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
