he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
