whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
