I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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