he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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