omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
