I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
