Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
