i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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