he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
