Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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