I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
No more Irish car bombs ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
