you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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