so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
