so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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