LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
