About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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