Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
