After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
