I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
