you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
