Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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