my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
