Yo dont text me then not text me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize