she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
