Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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