I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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