We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
