She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
