His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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