whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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