So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
