She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we're making bets on your personal life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
This toilet bowl is my home.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
