and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
