She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
