we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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