Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize