I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
