Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
