and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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