You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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