You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
