He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
