She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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