I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It was confusing and full of hummus
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
