you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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