I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
