we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
