You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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