Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
