I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
