i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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