you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I love you. Go after that dick
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
