Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
