I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just want to make out with him forever
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
