you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
