Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
