I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
