I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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