operation harelip BJ is a go
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
