Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize