How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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