I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
