dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
